My Favorite Poo Story: A Mother’s Day Tale

My Favorite Poo Story

In honor of Mother’s Day, I thought I would post my all-time favorite Dunn story involving poo.   Of course it involves our over-achieving first child, Christine.  We had Christine in San Antonio, TX, just 3 short weeks prior to being picked up for pilot training in Columbus, MS.  Being a first time mom, I had it alllllll together. HA! I knew nothing. But I had read every book available, so I thought I was well informed.  For example, I knew that nursing her was best, and by-golly, it didn’t matter that it wasn’t going well and I was in constant pain, this child would. be. nursed. But, I digress.

The poo incident happened halfway between San Antonio and Columbus in the innocent little college town of Ruston, LA.  We stopped at a Wendy’s to have some lunch, but eating out didn’t look the same anymore. Now, we parked in the back so I could nurse (while Jimmy ran in and grabbed food) and we ate in the car. We were in a Bronco II (only 2 doors) so I crawled into the back and got my little sweetie, all swathed in pink, out of her car seat.  She seemed a little distressed, but who wouldn’t be after riding for hours all buckled in?  She ate and I sat quietly—the Princess didn’t like anything to disturb her eating.  I was trying to keep her covered, but not suffocate, with a light blanket because we were, after all, in a parking lot. I’m nothing if I’m not modest. *smile*

When she finished eating, it was diaper changing time.  I put my little bundle of love on my lap and began changing her.  At 3 weeks, she was probably weighing around 10 pounds or so.  Just a little thing.  What happened next still surprises me to remember.  As soon as I opened her diaper, she PROJECTILE POOPED more than you would ever believe a 10 pound baby could possibly possess.  Did it get on me? Yes! My top half was covered in poo! Loose, stinky, breast milk poo.  Jimmy was inside getting food (where in the world WAS he? How long does it take to get a burger??) and I needed to get her changed but had to change myself first.  But how to do that with a baby in my lap? Being the seasoned mom I was after 3 weeks, I just stripped that poo-covered shirt off and began mopping up the delightfulness of motherhood the best I could. After that was taken care of, I needed to cover myself before my man came back mortified to find me half-naked in the back of his truck with our baby–I was still trying to let him think I knew what I was doing. So, as sexy as a nursing bra and 3 weeks postpartem body is, I began searching behind me for my suitcase (just my neck and one arm because the baby is in my lap, still a mess). My suitcase was at the bottom, of course, so the next best thing was the dirty clothes bag on top. I wrestled out the first dirty, wrinkled shirt I could find, (not mine, oh well), and struggled into it.  I never thought to look around until the emergency had been averted.  Once Christine was changed and being burped, I looked to my left.  I will never forget the look on that truck driver’s face from his front row seat.  Unlike any strip show he’d been to before—I can guarantee that!

 This was my first initiation into: You’re a Mom Now: There are NO Exit Doors.

I’m a Quitter.

Not really. I like to think of myself as a fixer.  When the seam started coming out of my dress, I sewed it up–I didn’t just continue to wear it “as is” and live with it.  If the dinner I make stinks, I figure out a way to adjust the recipe, OR, ditch it and make something else next time.  If a parenting strategy is failing to be effective with one of my children, I find something that IS effective.  I don’t just keep doing something because it was the original intention.

That being said, I’m sending Insanity back. I did it for 10 days with one rest day and dreaded every single moment of my life for those 10 days.  I would wake up in the morning already miserable, knowing what was to come.  I would dread turning it on, doing the warm up, doing the exercise, everything except the stretching.  The stretching felt great because I knew the pain was over for a moment.  But as soon as I turned the DVD player off, I was dreading 23 hours or so later when I would have to do it again. Perhaps I bit off more than I could chew.  Maybe down the road when I’ve gotten into better shape, I could handle it. But I’m telling you–Insanity is the hardest thing physically by far I have ever done or even considered doing.

The good thing is that I had a 30 day money back guarantee, so I will be returning it and ordering a different Beachbody program.  I’m leaning towards “Slim in 6″.  I finished the 10 -day  challenge I was a part of, and have started a 90-day challenge.  I have an awesome coach that talked with me a long time today about my fitness goals and helped me find something that would work better for me.  As soon as I was honest with her about how miserable I had been on Insanity, she told me to stop immediately and we would find something that I actually enjoyed–no one should dread working out as much as I have.  I was thinking everyone hated it so I should just push through and keep on going. I also have foot issues–when my coach found out I was doing Insanity with plantar fashitis, she tried to convince me to find a program that would involve much jumping. But. I didn’t listen to her because I did’t want to be a quitter. Some praying and talking through with Alyson, my coach, helped me grab a much needed dose of perspective and realize I’m not quitting, but fixing a serious problem. 

The important thing is that when I got discouraged in my program (and it was much farther than I’ve ever gotten with a DVD before), rather than throw my hands up, I got support from my coach.  And I’m finding something that will work for me.  Part of me (maybe 5 %) is disappointed that I’m not finishing it, but 95% of me is so relieved I don’t know what to do.  And I’ve been so cranky lately because of it that my kids will probably be relieved too. haha  I’m eating better and cleaner and feeling good.  I’m thinking whatever I choose next will seem like a walk in the park compared to Insanity. Please God, let it be so.  

Insanity Begins!!

Today I did my first Fit Test for the Insanity workouts.  For those of you who are blessedly unfamiliar with the Insanity program, you take a fit test every two weeks, recording your results each time to see how far you’ve come.  Shaun T. makes everything look so easy—no problem! The warm up nearly kicked my butt!  You know you’re in for a beating when you feel nauseous during a warm up.  After you finish that excruciating 5 minutes or so, the next 15-20 minutes is just 8 simple enough exercises.  No weights or equipment involved—just you and your sweat.  Each exercise is done for a mere minute (HA!), then you take a short break to “record your results”.  I put that in quotes because I was repeating my number in my head so I wouldn’t forget it while sprawled on the floor like a crime scene, waiting for the police to come do my chalk outline.  The last 5 minutes is the only good part of the workout—he stretches your abused muscles while they are still shaking in protest to the absurdity that just happened to them.  I did manage to “finish”, and eventually stopped shaking enough to fix myself a breakfast protein shake.  I didn’t look like an athlete today, but I take pleasure in knowing that I was dressed like one and I didn’t throw up.  It’s the little things…

So I guess today is day 3 of what will be a 100 day challenge for me.  My challenge to myself is to make lifestyle changes—I want to lose weight and get in shape, but I want it to become even more important to me to honor God with my body and the choices I make daily concerning it.  I’m not there yet, but I’m praying about it and asking God to change my heart.  I want Him to take my thoughts and motives captive (2Cor 10:5), even my “good” ones, and line them up to His glory.  Right now, my main motivation to get off my rear-end is the closet and the mirror.  The clothes that are in my closet don’t fit (even though I’ve bought bigger sizes) and the mirror tells me why they won’t fit.  My prayer is that my main motivation will soon be that being a healthier and more fit version of myself brings glory to God and is an example to the children God gave me. It will hopefully give me energy to have discipline in many other areas of my life that I struggle with because I’m tired.  Lack of discipline is a common denominator for me in many/most of my struggles. 

Time to go “edumacate” my chilrens. I hope you all have an absolutely INSANELY wonderful day!!

D,D,&D,

Lori

Becoming Less of a Woman (official) Day 1

Well folks, today’s theme is baby steps. I can’t make every lifestyle change at once without blowing my mind, so I’m doing it gradually.  Its a lot about attitude right now–in fact, after last night’s post, I was so encouraged and inspired by what I blogged that when I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror I was truly surprised to see the same overweight chica looking back.  In my mind, I’m waaaaay down the road from what I look like. I’d say that’s a pretty positive change.  Maybe even half the battle.  Or a third.  The other 1/3 is eating better, and the last 1/3 is exercise.

My tapes aren’t in yet, so my sweetie and I went walking/running for 30 minutes.  The miracle here is that it happened at the end of the day when both of us were exhausted. He had a procedure done on his neck this week, so its sore.  ANd I just didn’t want to go.  Quite honestly, the ONLY reason i went exercising tonight is because I knew I’d be reporting back here. So thank you for the motivation to get off my considerable rear-end and move a little.

I didn’t blow the eating today–I actually did pretty good. Except for the two cokes I had. Baby steps. I’m focusing on a thing at a time.

Becoming LESS of a Woman: Day (almost) 1

One of my two posters I made to see while showering each day–its corny but, um, I’m kinda corny so it works out well for me. (grin)

 

I did something new today. Something radical.  I joined a Facebook accountability challenge group to get fit, lose weight, and eat “clean”. I’m assuming that means I wash my fruits and veggies more throughly! (grin)  Anyway, in this group, I do one of the Beachbody dvds (I chose “Insanity”), eat healthier, and post about what I did (or did NOT do).   We were asked to post to the group introducing  and telling the other’s a little about ourselves–this was my post:

“Hey y’all! I’m Lori and I’m a sugar addict/sweat avoider. (Hiiiiii Lori!) haha that’s always how I imagined it would go anyway! Today the most exercise I’ve done is walk to the door to answer FedEx, but my heart rate definitely was elevated because I was afraid it was the Insanity DVDs I ordered yesterday. Yeah. So….I have a long, long way to go. Three-and -a-half-years ago, I was a far cry from ever having been overweight and pretty active, but at 39.5 years, I started packing on pounds. Eight pounds here, five pounds there, until I now weigh a whopping 38 pounds more! I’ve trained for and ran a 5k, tried the gym two different sets of times, hired a trainer, changed my eating, changed it again, and again, all to no avail. My fat really, really likes me! But, it’s an unwanted houseguest and I’m kicking it to the curb! Tomorrow, though. Tonight I’m tired and need a hamburger.”

I decided to post my journey on my blog and invite anyone else along who was ready to be less of a woman or man.  If I’m going to be a bigger person, I want it to be intellectually, spiritually, emotionally–I’m tired of it being my dress size.  The path I’m on right now is to obesity, diabetes, heart congestion-that has to change!  If I die young I want people to say at my funeral, “But she took SUCH good care of herself!”  My body is a gift that was given to me directly from God, and I have been treating it like it was worthless, not important, second-hand.  This has got to end. And so it will. Right now. (I finished the hamburger.)

Here is my game plan:

1. Move a LOT more. “Insanity” is a 60 day challenge, but the Facebook group I joined is a 90 day challenge.  This is just motivation/inspiration for me though–I’m changing my life, not dieting. I know “Insanity” isn’t something that I would do long term for fitness, but my metabolism has apparently lost its way, so I’m using this program to give it a jumpstart moving in the right direction again.  Once I’m at a healthier weight and my metabolism is active again, I will walk/run with my husband, ride bikes with my kids, beat them in Wii dance competitions, and my all-time favorite, hike with the fam.

2. Change my self-talk.  “I’m an athelete.” “I’m good at this!” “I think sweating is sexy.” ewww. I’ll get there…

3. Be dedicated, but not obsessed.  The love of my life is Jesus–my family is next.  Those are the places my mind/spirit/energy should spend the majority of the time.   I know it will take a lot of energy and brain power to stop this overweight locomotive from going in one direction and haul its big butt (literally)  in the opposite direction, but I want so badly to be able to do it and somehow not let it become all I think about.

4. Lose the sugar worship.  Seriously–you have never met a sugar-aholic until you’ve met me. For heaven’s sake, I wrote a letter to the Krispy Kreme corporation when I was in college asking them to come to Starkville, MS because my roommate brought me a dozen back from a concert one night. It was 3 a.m. and my sugar rush kept me from sleeping, so I got up and wrote a letter. For real.

5. Water. Drink it. Lots.

6. Celebrate short goals. My first goal is 8 pounds away–I’m getting a massage. Every 5 pounds after that I get a treat–a pedicure, a Vera Bradley tote I’ve been wanting, a weekend getaway with my honey. The BIG ONE is a shopping spree for new clothes and family pictures done. I have put off having family pictures done for 3 years because I didn’t want THIS version of me documented. I will regret this one day in the not too distant future–while I was busy obsessing, my children were busy changing and growing before my eyes. In fact, in 4 months from this very day, we will be moving my oldest daughter into her dorm room. *gasp* There are so many far more important things in life than worrying about how you look.

7. Denial is growth–each time I say “no” to something sweet or “yes” to working out when I don’t want to, I move that much closer in the direction of a healthier me. I can do this. I’ve done MUCH harder things.

8. Blog for accountability. I plan to write about my journey to provide myself accountablity, but the good news for you, is you don’t have to read it OR live it! Unless you want to suffer along with me physically, as an encourager, or both.

9. Journal my food daily. I hate this one–its sooooo boring, but I think along with accountability, it is a key componenent. I have used Weight Watchers in the past and Livestrong, but I’m currently using My Fitness Pal app and love it. What I love about it is after I log in my food, I can go to a chart and see a breakdown of how much protein, fiber, calcium, iron, fat, ect. I’ve eaten in the day–that way I can get a better grasp on a healthy, balanced diet for me in the long run. Its just another discipline that needs to be non-negotiable for me in order to be successful.

10. Surround this in prayer. I saved the most important for last. I want this to be so much more than about fitting into clothes and feeling better about myself. I want this to be about honoring God with the body He has given me and treating it with respect and goodness. He gifted me with my children and I would never consider abusing them or mistreating them or neglecting them–they are gifts to me. Even though I’m not a perfect mom, I try to be the best version of a mom I can be. Why should the gift of my body be treated any differently? Yet eating poorly and being sedentary is abusing it, mistreating it, and neglecting it. So I want to make this journey about honoring Him and moving in obedience to how I know I should be toward this gift He has given me.

That’s about it for now, but I’ll leave you with some pictures that I took of some other motivational visuals I made myself. I never intended to show them to anyone, so the artistic ability is lacking and they are especially corny. But then, so am I. ha!  Anyone interested in taking this challenge with me and providing encouragement to each other? Let me know. Tune in on my official Day 1 post for “Back Fat: How in the world did THAT get THERE??”

I have this stationed outside my shower doors so I can read each poster every day for inspiration/reminding. I have a blank for after losing 20 pounds–any suggestions???

An idea I stole from Pinterest–each stone represents 1/2 of a pound–can’t wait for the other jar to be filled!!!

 

11 Years Ago Today…

11 Years Ago Today….

11 Years Ago Today…

I have no idea what I was doing. Most likely going about the daily-ness of life, taking care of 2 little ones, cooking dinner, doing laundry, listening to a 6 year old practice reading (and trying not to fall asleep while doing so!)  I am positive I had absolutely no idea that such a monumental occasion for our family was taking place on the other side of the world…our Julia Grace was taking her first breath.

Knowing Julia, it was not with a small amount of screaming and flailing.  I’m sure of all 4 of my children, she was the most indignant with not having control of her situation, even if it was her birth. I can imagine her little face was pinched and red with the injustice of it all!  I sure do wish I had been there that day to wrap her little body in a soft, fuzzy blanket and cuddle her close to me as I did Rob and Christine on the day of their births.  To quietly “shhh” her and bounce her gently up and down close to my chest so she could feel my warmth and experience my love.  To softly hum a little tune that would be a little off-key because I was so excited and nervous to hold her for the first time.  To kiss her little wrinkled forehead smooth.   I ache knowing that in those moments and for the next 13 months, I was unable to offer her all of the comforts only a mommy can give.  But God had another plan….

God had a plan where He would do the comforting and the bouncing and the loving.  I can’t begin to tell you the relief this momma feels knowing that the Only One who loves Julia more than I do wasn’t too busy in His dealings with the Universe to take care of my baby girl.  And that He didn’t do it out of necessity, but because He really is quite crazy about her!

God had a plan where our family would grow and stretch and fail and repent and strive and love in ways that we never would’ve been challenged to do had the adoption of Anthony and Julia not been a part of our journey.

God had a plan where a marriage that seemed quite wonderful had some kinks that needed to be worked out, and those kinks made us rely on Him in a way we hadn’t needed to before.  And fall much deeper in love through the workings.

God had a plan where our two older children would get regular opportunities to have their characters challenged as they dealt with issues that are complex and bigger than they are. And a plan where they got a daily chance to practice the Scripture that talks about putting other people’s needs above your own.

God had a plan where a little boy in Russia two years older than her would find the “pea” to his “pod” in Julia when two strangers walked into the orphanage he had lived in his whole life and announced that they wanted to be his mommy and daddy.

God had a plan where a little girl who is so strong-willed it scares me and is so smart it un-nerves me needed a mommy and daddy to remind her that she is special, wonderful, and adored, but NOT the center of the Universe.

And best of all, God had a plan that gave the six of us an up-close view of what He offers us all.  Adoption is basically taking someone who is orphaned and giving them a home.  The person who does the adopting is never forced to do so; it is by their own free will that they make the choice to take the person in and call them their own.   That is what God has offered us.  He wants us to be His children–to call us His very own for no other reason than because He adores us.  We have nothing to offer–we are orphans in the purest sense of the word–but He loves unconditionally.

Julia could never do something so horrible that I would no longer call her my child.  My love for her is not based on her behavior–my love just IS.  It is the same with God, but so much better!  We could never out-sin His love for us–He simply loves us and is always looking for His precious orphans to accept that love, leave the Orphanage behind, and bask in His forgiveness and grace for eternity.